Baptiste part II, section III

Dear Mr. Baptiste:

1. Why do you keep reporting to “Window A” when in fact there is no such “window”, save possibly for that one time?

2. Why do you ignore “Window B” , when its non-existence clearly matches, if not exceeds, that of “Window A”?

3. Why did you report to the likes of “Window Q”, or some such, during that all too brief “window” of opportunity when “Window A” actually existed, supposedly?

4. Why do none of these “windows” exist, why do people claim that they do, and why do you keep reporting to them?

5. What of “Window C”? Why not report there (if you do not)? If you do, why do you?

6. How exactly did events transpire with the so-called “Window Q”? Some whisper that there is not, nor ever has been, even {or especially} that one time, such a “window”, and that you were merely avoiding at all costs the brief “window” of opportunity, if same existed (which it did not), of reporting to “Window A” when it actually existed (which it did not).

7. Why the hell do you keep reporting to “Window A”??

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Mr. Baptiste, part III, section XII

Dear Mr. Baptiste: Why? Why, Mr. Baptiste? The “peoples of the globe” are on tenterhooks; “they” champ at the bit for some (any) ___________, though perhaps “they” do not, really. But what if “they” did? Oh, why, why, Mr. Baptiste?

Mr. Baptiste: Why not? Why not, Mr. Baptiste? “They” {the “peoples of the globe”} clamor and beseech, though perhaps “they” do not, really, at all. But “they” *are* on tenterhooks {though “they” are also not, perhaps}. But what if “they” are {or are not}? Oh, why not, why not, Mr. Baptiste?

Mr. Baptiste! ____________?? _____________, Mr. Baptiste?? “They” {“_________”} do this, and “they” do that, and at times “they” even do something else, though it has been aptly demonstrated {?} that “they” do nothing of the kind, really, ever, at all. But what if “they” did {or did not, or only partially did, or only partially did not} {or something else}? Oh, ____________, _____________, Mr. Baptiste??

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Hog Hopes.

A sense of _______, only just now found,

That could be taking place anywhere always again.

It can never be repeated, nor taken away.

It seems so real. It exists.

The conjuring of false hog hopes?

So what of real hog hopes?

Where are the conjurers of these,

What kind of commutes do they take.

If they, in fact, do.

Where are they. Where are they.

And what of real hog hopes.

What of them. What of they.

What of real hog hopes?

Brief Tour.

He’s not dead,

But that don’t stop

The dogs from pissin’ on him,

Or the wizened crones

From givin’ him a short, discreet

Kick in the chops

As they pass triumphantly with their Pop-Tarts,

Clamato,

And Novahistine elixir.

Over there? That’s The Captain.

“The boat is on the water”,

He likes to say.

But the water’s not a bay,

Alas, it’s a dire, somber swamp;

The boat, a corroded old can.

He’s got the handle,

But not the suitcase.

He’s here, all right, but he’s gone.

Just like the stoic weed

That once grew just for him.

Gérard Bret.

Baptiste part II, section II.

Your exquisitely detailed exploits of the “Window A” experience, though in a sense deeply moving, are undermined somewhat by the utter lack of existence of said “Window A”, Mr. Baptiste. Your quixotic struggles with “Window B”, though stirring, share a similar hollow-ish ring, given its similar non-existence. The “Window C” trials you’ve mentioned seem to lose some of their moral grandeur given the fact that they never, in fact, happened at all.

We won’t mention your so-called travails with the highly controversial “Window D”, a window no one has been able to actually locate, despite many attempts.

Your heroic, “almost godlike” forays at these many “windows” certainly shake the spirit, or would, had they ever, in fact, transpired. Even the nearly blinding luster of one’s savagely moral “Window Q” odyssey limpens in the light of its not ever even remotely having occurred in any way whatsoever.

But other than that, a job well done, Mr. Baptiste. We are all quite _______’d.

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Baptiste part II, section I.

Rumor has it that you’ve been doing a great—very great—perhaps too great—deal of reporting  to a certain “Window A”.  Well, there is in fact no “Window A”, Mr. Baptiste.   Nor is there a “Window B”.  Equally absent from the known world are  “Windows C, D” & even “E”.   And if there were a “Window F”, surely we would know of it, and surely we do not.

Oh, once, at one time, there was a “Window G”, but this time has long since passed;  and never, not ever, were you noticed in its environs.  You were occupied, instead, reporting to this so-called “Window A”, a window that does not exist, nor has it ever, except for that one time.  And during that one time, you were no doubt reporting to the likes of “Window Q”, or some such.

If, perhaps, you, Mr. Baptiste, could spend more time reporting to “windows” which actually exist  (though, in fact, there are no such “windows”), well.  Perhaps, then, _________.

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Mr. Baptiste V.

We have noticed, of late, that you have strayed far—very far—very, very far—from the “Official Version”. Yes, in our opinion. You have strayed far, Mr. Baptiste. Very far. Very, very far. Some have whispered “too far”. Do you, in fact, even remember what the “Official Version” is, Mr. Baptiste?

Perhaps you ought to, well, “reacquaint yourself”. Just to maintain some “connection”. Yes, perhaps you might engage in such “Official” activities as ___________, rather than, say, _________. Because _____________, and the whole realm of ______________, would be quite some distance from the “Official Version”. A very great distance indeed. Very, very great. Some have whispered “too great”. Do you, in fact, even remember what the “Official Version” is, Mr. Baptiste?

There may come a time, Mr. Baptiste. There may indeed. What then, Mr. Baptiste? What then, indeed? Do you, in fact, even remember what the “Official Version” is, Mr. Baptiste?

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Mr. Baptiste IV.

It’s a little bit funny. Wouldn’t you say? What is one to make of things? And more to the point, what exactly is one to make of ________? It’s a little bit funny.

There once was a time, Mr. Baptiste. Coincidence? There are such things. It exists. Even—perhaps especially—in your very own regular-sized. There are certain things in the world. It is essential that you understand this. For example, ___________. But this is only the beginning.

Yes, Mr. Baptiste, there are certain things…….and certain other things. There once was a time. In which. In which. Certain things. By God, eh, Mr. Baptiste?

Yes, there are certain things……..and—perhaps especially—certain other things. Things that do not, in fact, ____________. But these are exactly the kinds of things!! These are the kinds of things, exactly!!

I’m sure you know in your heart—and even —perhaps especially—your “______”—there has been no mistake, Mr. Baptiste. But then again, maybe not.

Mr. Baptiste III.

You look good to me. In a decade and no less—yes, “In”—in a decade and no less you’ve been fixated upon the so-called “_______”. You have been living in your very own regular-sized. You are, as they say, ______. For some time now.

Let me explain. For some time now you have been “a man donning his shirt”. In your very own regular-sized. Let me explain. You are currently surrounded.

Perhaps you do not understand. In—–yes, “In”——in a decade and no less you have been, as they say, ______________. Let me explain. You are, as they say, currently surrounded. For some time now. And, of course, _________.

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